September 2011
3 posts
1 tag
“The only things we have in common are an eventual death and an inability to keep...”
Sep 5th
3 tags
Sep 5th
1 note
1 tag
Sep 3rd
August 2011
3 posts
2 tags
Aug 31st
Aug 28th
“What are men compared to rocks and mountains?”
Aug 22nd
September 2010
1 post
Being back home, or in the city you grew up calling home, is difficult. Five years is a long time. 
Sep 7th
10 notes
August 2010
0 posts
“I know you! You were puking in the parking lot the other night!”
– Things the man I met 5 minutes ago said to me that make me feel like a mature/productive human being
Aug 1st
June 2010
15 posts
1 tag
Jun 30th
Jun 30th
Illegal Signs →
Did you know there’s an entire sub-set of people in our society who drive around looking for illegal billboards? There are people who are passionate enough about illegal billboards that they are willing to be taken to court and repeatedly harassed by lawyers. Doesn’t that just blow your mind? Who are these people? How does one stumble upon this particular obsession?
Jun 27th
Jun 24th
Dad: Can you hurry up, please?
Me: What's the rush?
Dad: I call this hot chickie I have a date with. Super fly, you know what I mean?
Jun 23rd
Do you ever just get sad about humanity? I’m usually an obnoxiously positive person and then I watch a public health documentary. I’m watching Gasland and and I re-watched Blue Vinyl earlier today. It’s so depressing. 
Jun 22nd
Father's Day
My dad and I are drinking beer and watching Half Pint Brawlers. He’s like the coolest dad ever. I’m absolutely certain.
Jun 21st
Jun 21st
1 tag
Happy Father’s Day to the man standing six feet behind me wearing a “This Dad Needs a Beer” t-shirt and grinning like a fool.
Jun 20th
1 tag
Dad: OH MY GOD! WAIT! GO BACK! IT'S THE PREVIEW FOR THE NEW ONE! I haven't seen it yet.
Me: What are you yelling about?
(flipping back through the channels)
Dad: STOP STOP STOP! Right here. Oooh.
Me: Are you serious right now? This is the preview for the new Twilight movie. I'm humiliated for you and for the fact that I am product of your loins.
Dad: What? This one has werewolves. I hope that little vampire bitch gets eaten. I'm totally Team Jacob.
Jun 19th
2 tags
Me: Dad, you're not going to be awkward tonight, right? Meeting Josh's parents and stuff? I need you to be charming since I'm going to be awkward as usual.
Dad: What are you talking about? I'm awesome around new people. I got the lingo down and everything, ready? "Hey yo, esse, you been comin' round my barrio takin' out my daughter? You better treat her right or I'ma treat you right. Nam sayin?"
Me: God, dad. These people are normal white people. Please, behave.
Dad: I watch Cops and CSI and sometimes Nascar. I know how to behave around white people.
Jun 19th
Jun 19th
1 tag
Goodbye Ohio
So, for the next 2 weeks, at least, I won’t be updating this tumblr because I don’t know when I’ll have internet access. Josh and I are starting our cross-country road trip today and who the hell knows where that will take us. However, if you’d like to know whether or not I’m still alive you can follow No More Roadkill.  See you in Boise. 
Jun 8th
Jun 6th
Jun 6th
May 2010
30 posts
May 31st
May 31st
May 31st
2 tags
May 30th
2 tags
May 28th
2 tags
Guess who fell down a flight of stairs, again, and...
this girl.
May 26th
May 25th
“Up to bat, with an impressive batting average of .432 and a BAC of .89, JIIIMMM...”
May 25th
May 24th
1 tag
May 24th
Listenkayfabe: fishy:constantflux: The Avett...
May 23rd
2 tags
May 23rd
May 22nd
1 tag
Can this come out on DVD PLEASE?!? →
(via theycallmebreeze) Did I tell you that I was thinking about this show the other day? Or did we just have a “we heeeere” moment?
May 22nd
May 21st
1 tag
May 16th
May 15th
1 tag
WatchWatch
Did I tell you guys I went fish shocking?
May 12th
WatchWatch
GVOYM: The Fainting Goat Farm
May 10th
2 tags
Things I Did Today:
Went fish shocking. Caught a ridiculous amount of rainbow darters and chubs and crayfish. Explored an organic berry farm. Played with dozens of week-old fainting goats.
May 10th
WatchWatch
Feeling super homesick today.
May 9th
1 tag
May 7th
2 tags
I got the job!
So, on a whim I applied to work at the National Zoo for the summer. I need an interim job but I’ve never worked at a zoo and this place is super competitive so I didn’t think anything would come of it (not to mention a question during the interview was “What’s your favorite animal?” and I couldn’t think of a single animal and at the last second blurted out...
May 7th
Emily: Guys, I'm calling my friend's mom. Please, don't yell any curse words or say anything sexual.
Allison: Is it bad that I feel proud that she needed to say that to us?
May 5th
The Vinegar Institute - Uses & Tips →
My latest obsession. 
May 4th
May 3rd
May 3rd